I Get It Now
by The Lilac Elf of Lothlorien
Summary: Post 'Exile on Main St.' story. Some things you just can't understand at the time. Sometimes you just need to walk a mile in the other's shoes before it all makes sense. Something Sam and Dean are learning first hand.


AUTHOR'S NOTES: In past months, I've started getting into the show 'Supernatural' and I was highly impressed with the season 6 premiere. I got this little drabble of a story in my head and decided to share.

I might try to figure out a way to write a threeway crossover with NCIS and Harry Potter if this gets enough good reviews.

* * *

SUPERNATURAL: I Get It Now

* * *

It started off being his father's car.

For the longest time, that's how Dean Winchester thought of the '67 Chevy Impala. It was a tool, handed down from father to son, but the car was still John Winchester's.

After the accident, lying underneath the car, Dean realized that while he was rebuilding the car he had the choice to make it his. This would be his baby and he would love her more than anything else—Well, except for Sam.

When the car was finished and Dean wiped his hands off on a rag, he sat behind the wheel and turned the engine on. That old deep rumbling made him smile and somehow relaxed him. It was white noise. Something in the background that you only missed when it wasn't there. When Dean checked the air and the heat, he frowned when he didn't hear the faint rattling that had always been there. Looking around outside, Dean finally stopped as he found what he'd been looking for. He bent down and picked up the Legos and smiled as he sat in the passenger's seat and shoved the small blocks into the vent. When the turned the heat on again, he grinned as he heard the familiar rattle.

After one final look, making sure the army man toy was stuck in the ashtray just right, that the initials 'SW' and 'DW' were recarved underneath the seat cushions, Dean grinned as he studied the car.

"Looking good, baby," Dean said, happy with his work. "Looking good."

But before he turned to head back to Bobby Singer's house, Dean propped open the hood and pulled out his favorite knife. His father had given it to him and Dean had often wondered about the initials engraved on the blade. 'MC'. After a moment, Dean decided to do what his father never had: name the Impala. With a steady hand, Dean carved a name on the inside.

* * *

Years later, Dean couldn't sleep.

With all he'd been through—Hell, all the demons, losing Sam, getting him back again—it was hardly surprising, but after spending the past year with Lisa and her son, Ben, Dean was starting to become ever so slightly bothered by it.

When 2am found him in the garage, underneath the Impala, Dean sighed. The car was just fine but Dean's thoughts wouldn't leave him alone.

"Dean?"

Dean scooted out from underneath and his eyes widened in surprise to see Ben standing there. "What're you doin' out here, pal?" Dean asked, leaning against the car.

Ben sat down next to Dean and asked, "Why don't you let me work on the Impala?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at the kid. "You got up in the middle of the night to ask me that?"

Ben shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. I saw the garage light was on." Looking at Dean, Ben wondered if he should ask just go ahead and ask the question. "Why didn't you go with your brother?"

Dean shrugged. It was a loaded question. He'd lied to Sam before. Staying had very little to do with protecting Lisa and Ben. The truth was that Dean was tired of the life of a hunter. The past few months, he could actually sleep for more than a few hours. He had a real job and he heard people call him by his real last name. "Not my life anymore," Dean replied, finally.

"Why not?" Ben asked, curious.

Dean didn't know how to explain that but he said, "It's just my turn to have a normal life." When he caught Ben's questioning look, he said, "Long time ago, Sam left being a hunter behind and went to college. Had a girlfriend, had a real job… a normal life. Then I dragged him back into… well, the life we had before. I never thought there was anything wrong with how we lived, but…"

To Ben, Dean was the closest thing to a father. And in the very few occasions when Dean would talk about being on the road, hunting monsters, Ben thought it sounded like one big adventure. But when Ben said that he wanted to go with Dean if he decided to leave, Dean had flat out refused. "So why did you decide to stay with Mom and me?" Ben asked again. He wanted to help Dean and sitting here, leaning up against the '67 Impala, Ben could feel the presence of… someone.

Dean didn't reply for the longest time. He'd been asking himself the question constantly for the past year and even more so in the past few days. But leaning back against the car, it came to him with more clarity than any thought he'd ever had before. "Because for the first time in my life, I get it."

"Get what?"

Dean looked at Ben and smiled. "Hunting demons, saving people… I almost never saw just what it was I was saving. Saving people's lives… giving them a second chance…" Getting to his feet, Dean completely pulled the cover off the Impala and went to the hood and lifted it. When Ben stood as well, he saw something etched on the underside of the hood. Looking closer, he saw it was a name. Looking at Dean, Ben waited until Dean said, "Ben, meet Mary."

* * *

It was another two months before Sam saw Dean again after leaving Indiana. Dean had called out of the blue and asked to meet up.

Sitting in a diner, Sam had a thousand flashbacks running through his head as he sat across from Dean. Talking over cases, arguing about whatever…

Dean looked even more different than before. The haunted, tortured look in his eyes that had been present since Dean had come back from Hell was still there but it seemed distant. There weren't so many lines on his face now and his hair was a bit longer than before.

"You look good, Dean," Sam said, finally, giving his big brother a smile.

"You, too, Sammy," Dean replied, unconsciously fiddling with the gold wedding band on his left hand. "Thanks for the card, by the way."

'Yeah," Sam replied, sadly, looking at Dean's ring. "Sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding. Something came up."

"I drank a beer for you at the reception," Dean said with a shrug. "Listen, Sam… Back when you left for Stanford…"

"Dean…" Sam said, his tone tired. He didn't want to hear how he'd walked away from everything and he could do it again. It wasn't an option now.

"Sam, listen," Dean interjected. When he had his brother's attention, he said, "I get it now."

"You do?" Sam said, surprised. All the times Dean had said that he couldn't understand why Sam had walked away from hunting… "How…?"

"Ben, actually," Dean replied with a smile. "Sometimes the kid reminds me of you."

Sam laughed and was happy to see Dean laugh as well. "Listen, Dean. You're welcome to come with me."

"I know," Dean said with a nod. "But I think it's too late to go back to old lives. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do," Sam replied, thinking back to when Dean had asked him if he'd wish to go back and have a life with Jessica.

An hour and a half later, when Sam and Dean left the diner, Sam raised his eyebrow when he saw the Impala in the parking lot. "Thought you were keeping her in retirement," Sam commented.

"Ben and I were working on her earlier," Dean explained. "Changed the oil, fixed a broken light." As he opened the door, he saw Sam's look. "Even oiled the doors."

Sam nodded silently and after he and Dean exchanged a hug, Sam watched Dean drive away. He got it now. How Dean must have felt after Sam had gone away to college. It didn't feel right but deep down, Sam knew that Dean had made the right choice to stay. After getting into his 2009 Chevy Impala, Sam turned the car on and then brought his music playlists up on his iPod. After turning on the playlist labeled 'Dean', Sam pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the road, singing to the music.


End file.
